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Caregiver's Handbook 8

Being physically active can provide you with an outlet that is relaxing and makes you feel good. Stretching, walking, jogging, swimming, or bicycling are examples of invigorating exercises. Consult your doctor before starting an exercise routine. Your doctor can help design a program that fits your individual needs.

Leisure time allows you to feel better and more able to cope with your situation. Having time to yourself to read a book, visit a friend, or watch TV can also bring enjoyment and relaxation, and break the constant pattern and pressure of caregiving.

Sleep refreshes and enables you to function throughout the day. If your care-receiver is restless at night and disturbs your sleep, consult your doctor and fellow caregivers on possible ways to handle the situation. You may need to have outside help in the evenings to allow you time to sleep.

If you are unable to sleep because of tension, practice relaxation exercises. Deep breathing or visualizing pleasant scenes can be helpful. Continued sleep disturbance may be a sign of major depression, which needs medical attention.

16. Relaxation Exercise:

__ Sit or lie down in a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Allow your mind to drift a few seconds, go with it wherever it goes. Wiggle your fingers and toes, then hands and feet, ankles and wrists. Loosen tight clothes, belts, ties. Sway your head from side to side, gently, gently. Now you have prepared yourself to relax physically and psychologically.

__ Now concentrate, still with your eyes closed, on some one pleasant thing you really want to think about; maybe it is a place you have visited in the past, or your dream place of your own imagination. It might be the seashore, or high on a hill, or in a field of grass and flowers. Become totally immersed in the place. Smell the smells you best remember. See the sights it offers. Hear the sounds. Feel it, whether it be water or sand or soil or snow. Fully realize this place or situation you are in: if it is on the sandy beach, sift your fingers through the warm sand and smell it, hold the sand to your cheek, smell the salt of the sea, search the skyline for gulls and terns and low clouds in the distance. Your body is totally weightless. You are totally in control of this scene. It is so relaxing and pleasant and beautiful, you are breathing slowly, peacefully. This is YOUR place and no one can take it from you.

__ After you have sufficiently experienced your peaceful imaging, whenever you have a chance, return to your special place, close your eyes again, tune in, relive those these special few moments in the world of your choosing where everything is perfect and everything is yours. This relaxation exercise can benefit you all day. Check your local library or book store for books, audio tapes, videotapes or films on relaxing and managing stress.

17. Laughter is the Best Medicine: This is an old expression popularized by Norman Cousin's book *Anatomy of an Illness*, in which he describes his battle with cancer and how he *laughed* his way to recovery. His hypothesis and the subject of many studies suggests that there are positive effects to be gained from laughter as a great tension-releaser, pain reducer, breathing improver, and general elevator of moods. It sounds miraculous, is not proven, but studies continue. Groups such as the International Conference on Humor and many hospitals use *positive emotion rooms* and *humor carts*. In short, humor therapy is valuable and it helps us through difficult or stressful times.

So for yourself and your care-receiver:

__ try to see the humor in being a caregiver;

__ write on a card *Have you laughed with your care-receiver today?* and place it in a conspicuous place in the bathroom or kitchen;

__ read funny books or jokes, listen to funny tapes or watch humorous movies or videos that make you laugh;

__ share something humorous with your care-receiver, a friend, or relative;

__ attend social groups where there is a lot of comeraderie, joy and fun;

__ be aware of how often you smile; it takes much less energy to smile than to frown.

If you find that you are feeling hopeless, and humor or laughter is not affording you the up-lift you want, contact a counselor. And remember, laughter is the best medicine. Try it, you'll like it!

18. Avoid Destructive Behavior: Sometimes people handle stressful situations in ways that are destructive. Instead of openly expressing feelings, they overeat, use alcohol, drugs, or cigarettes to mask their difficulties. Such escapes do not solve the problem and are harmful to health. If the strain results in neglecting or abusing the care-receiver, it is a vary serious problem. It is also against the law!

19. Seek Help: You do not have to go it alone. Turn to family members, friends, clergy members, professional counselors, or a caregiver support group for help and support.

20. Build your Self-Esteem: Continue to pursue activities and social contacts outside your home. Do what you enjoy. Go to a movie, play a musical instrument, or get together with friends for a card game. It may not be easy to schedule these activities, but the rewards for having balance in your life are great. Taking care of yourself benefits you and your care-receiver. Meeting your own needs will satisfy you and give you additional strength and vigor to bring to your caregiving tasks.

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